I went hunting this past weekend for my first time. It was quite the experience. I shot two deer which I guess is pretty good for a first timer. And both of them were one shot kills. It was a huge adrenaline rush. But I won't bore you anymore with stories about me sitting out in the freezing cold woods and getting sick, cuz you probably don't want to here about that.
I can't wait for snow. If it's gonna be cold, there might as well be snow on the ground.
I just got the complete second season of LOST. I figure that if I'm gonna own a TV show on DVD then it might as well be the best TV show ever created.
You know what I figured out about myself? I like authenticity. If something or someone is fake or putting up a front to impress someone or if it/he/she is being manipulative to try and get a certain response...I really hate that. I think thats why I hate most musicals (like Wicked or Rent or The Seussical). They are so...plastic and contrived. They make me want to gag myself. I think thats why I love Damien Rice and MuteMath. Raw, emotional, unapologetic about what they are. I really value that.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
Lame Title
I have decided that when I enter heaven, I want the piece "My Noble Knight" to be playing. It is from the movie, The Mighty and it is one of the most beautiful pieces of music that I have ever heard.
I know, lame title right..."My Noble Knight"? You would think that it is some sappy love song by Celine Dion. Well, it isn't. Listen to it and you'll see what I mean...
I know, lame title right..."My Noble Knight"? You would think that it is some sappy love song by Celine Dion. Well, it isn't. Listen to it and you'll see what I mean...
Friday, November 9, 2007
Holiness
I am overcome by the weight of holiness. I gaze into the character of God and I see nothing but absolute, sheer, blinding perfection. That falls on me heavy. The holiness of God cannot be overstated.
And then I think, "Why would God want to have fellowship with me?" I mean, I claim to be a follower of Christ and a child of God, and yet many times I relate to Him half-heartedly and without passion. He demands perfection, and I treat his commands with less than steel resolve. He commands reverence, and so often I treat Him like Santa Clause or just another guy on the street...just someone to talk to. He commands my undivided worship and devotion, and what do I do? I trade the INFINITE joy that comes with worshiping Him for the things of this world. I worship money, pleasure, friends, popularity when all of my needs and even wants could be so easily met by a God who desires my joy.
I trade the truth of God for a lie.
Seriously, I am so far from holy, I don't even want to think about it. I deserve the fate of Nadab and Abihu, who were immediately struck dead for treating the commands of God half-heartedly and flippently. I deserve the death of Aninias and Saphira for so often coming to God and people with a deceptive heart (as if I could ever deceive God!). And most of all, I deserve to take the place of Christ on the cross for every sin that I have ever committed.
But here's the crazy part...I AM STILL ALIVE!!! I commit all of these grievous acts against the character of God, and still he gives me this beautiful, undeserved, unspeakable grace...why? I mean, I try to follow him, and walk on the narrow way through the narrow gate. I desire to walk in his ways...and yet sometimes I stray. But God is always there to pick me up and put me back on the path. Why does he do that...he doesn't have to! You know What? I have NO IDEA!!!! And yet he sustains me with this grace. And what's more, he desires for me to become his child and friend. WHAT?!?! You guys, this absolutely blows my mind! I have no idea why he gives me this grace, but he does. This completely, utterly, perfect God!
And then I look at the world and I think about how backwards we think. You see no one lives up the the perfection of God. No one is holy, and therefore any good thing, including life itself, that happens to us is undeserved grace. And yet most people, even some Christians, walk around and live their lives as if they deserve what they have. And then someone dies, or they get really sick, or a tsunami happens and people look toward God, shake their fists, and yell, "WHERE WERE YOU?!?! YOU SHOULD HAVE...!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU...?!?!"
How utterly arrogant we are...
It's so backwards! We EXPECT Gods grace and recoil at His justice. It should be the other way around. We should fall flat on our faces before God in worship, and cry out to Him, "THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I should be dead, but I am not! I don't deserve You, and yet here You are! Thank You!"
Lord Jesus, I cannot begin to repay You for Your grace, for then it would not be grace at all. Instead, I humbly bow and continue to be blown away by your love. Why you love me, I will never know. But I do know this...that until I die, by faith, I will continue to strive to be more and more like you...to be more and more holy.
Always Yours,
Nick<><
And then I think, "Why would God want to have fellowship with me?" I mean, I claim to be a follower of Christ and a child of God, and yet many times I relate to Him half-heartedly and without passion. He demands perfection, and I treat his commands with less than steel resolve. He commands reverence, and so often I treat Him like Santa Clause or just another guy on the street...just someone to talk to. He commands my undivided worship and devotion, and what do I do? I trade the INFINITE joy that comes with worshiping Him for the things of this world. I worship money, pleasure, friends, popularity when all of my needs and even wants could be so easily met by a God who desires my joy.
I trade the truth of God for a lie.
Seriously, I am so far from holy, I don't even want to think about it. I deserve the fate of Nadab and Abihu, who were immediately struck dead for treating the commands of God half-heartedly and flippently. I deserve the death of Aninias and Saphira for so often coming to God and people with a deceptive heart (as if I could ever deceive God!). And most of all, I deserve to take the place of Christ on the cross for every sin that I have ever committed.
But here's the crazy part...I AM STILL ALIVE!!! I commit all of these grievous acts against the character of God, and still he gives me this beautiful, undeserved, unspeakable grace...why? I mean, I try to follow him, and walk on the narrow way through the narrow gate. I desire to walk in his ways...and yet sometimes I stray. But God is always there to pick me up and put me back on the path. Why does he do that...he doesn't have to! You know What? I have NO IDEA!!!! And yet he sustains me with this grace. And what's more, he desires for me to become his child and friend. WHAT?!?! You guys, this absolutely blows my mind! I have no idea why he gives me this grace, but he does. This completely, utterly, perfect God!
And then I look at the world and I think about how backwards we think. You see no one lives up the the perfection of God. No one is holy, and therefore any good thing, including life itself, that happens to us is undeserved grace. And yet most people, even some Christians, walk around and live their lives as if they deserve what they have. And then someone dies, or they get really sick, or a tsunami happens and people look toward God, shake their fists, and yell, "WHERE WERE YOU?!?! YOU SHOULD HAVE...!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU...?!?!"
How utterly arrogant we are...
It's so backwards! We EXPECT Gods grace and recoil at His justice. It should be the other way around. We should fall flat on our faces before God in worship, and cry out to Him, "THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I should be dead, but I am not! I don't deserve You, and yet here You are! Thank You!"
Lord Jesus, I cannot begin to repay You for Your grace, for then it would not be grace at all. Instead, I humbly bow and continue to be blown away by your love. Why you love me, I will never know. But I do know this...that until I die, by faith, I will continue to strive to be more and more like you...to be more and more holy.
Always Yours,
Nick<><
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Ear Plugs
So you know how people say that the lessons you learn the best are the one you learn by experience? Well, I learned one like that today...
If you are going to shoot a .270 deer rifle, you should wear ear plugs. It's loud, trust me. I tried to listen to a CD afterward, and it sounded out of tune...that shouldn't happen.
This better not be permanent...
If you are going to shoot a .270 deer rifle, you should wear ear plugs. It's loud, trust me. I tried to listen to a CD afterward, and it sounded out of tune...that shouldn't happen.
This better not be permanent...
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Inadequate Words
Have you ever seen a concert or heard a song or looked at a painting or read a sentence, and something within you feels like it's being turned and twisted and your soul is about to break? Well, I have...
I don't know, maybe I'm being over dramatic or Emo or something, but I've felt it...label me how you will.
Weaver At The Loom is amazing...something about their music does that to me. It's not that their lyrics are incredibly profound or that their groundbreaking musically...I don't know, I suppose I can't really explain what I'm feeling, so I won't do it the injustice of putting it into inadequate words. Maybe if I was C.S. Lewis, I could convey what I'm talking about...
I get the same feeling when I read him, too.
This is what I can say. Music is proof that our souls were created for something more than this world has to offer. When that feeling hits me in the gut, I am given a glimpse of something else, something...I don't know, almost other-worldly. I am given a glimpse of a Greater Glory.
The problem is that so often, we as humans focus on the thing that is doing the pointing instead of what it is pointing at...God. If we don't see Him, than we've missed it.
"So let us pray that we not be like the one-year-old who, when daddy points at a flower, looks at his daddy's finger instead." ~ John Piper
Yeah, the flower is so much better than even the best looking finger...
I don't know, maybe I'm being over dramatic or Emo or something, but I've felt it...label me how you will.
Weaver At The Loom is amazing...something about their music does that to me. It's not that their lyrics are incredibly profound or that their groundbreaking musically...I don't know, I suppose I can't really explain what I'm feeling, so I won't do it the injustice of putting it into inadequate words. Maybe if I was C.S. Lewis, I could convey what I'm talking about...
I get the same feeling when I read him, too.
This is what I can say. Music is proof that our souls were created for something more than this world has to offer. When that feeling hits me in the gut, I am given a glimpse of something else, something...I don't know, almost other-worldly. I am given a glimpse of a Greater Glory.
The problem is that so often, we as humans focus on the thing that is doing the pointing instead of what it is pointing at...God. If we don't see Him, than we've missed it.
"So let us pray that we not be like the one-year-old who, when daddy points at a flower, looks at his daddy's finger instead." ~ John Piper
Yeah, the flower is so much better than even the best looking finger...
Monday, November 5, 2007
These Streets
It feels very bizarre to be here again.
I drive around these streets and I feel like I never left...until I see the new billboard on the corner and the new paint job on Festival. I visit my old house and feel at home...and then the new roommate walks in and it just feels weird.
I go to school and see old friends and everything is familiar...and then the new freshmen walks into brass quintet, and it's like a different place.
Change happens whether you're around or not.
Parker is taller than me now...he's fifteen, and its really surreal. He takes drivers ed in a month. Wade doesn't work at church anymore, and Z is leading worship in Video Cafe. There's a mini choir in the sanctuary...and a forest of fake plants.
Fred is engaged. The cross is gone from the hill by Menards, and there's a new Starbucks on the corner by Best Buy.
They are playing a new morning game on the radio. For the past 13 years, there was "The Brain Game." Then I move and they start playing "You Can't Win".
It's funny how change can take a place that you've known most of your life and turn it into someplace different...well, almost.
At least Jewel's is still there. And Jake still has his same crazy-afro-hair. And at least I still feel at home at the Fischer's and Mary-Kaye still makes great cookies. The stop light at the corner by the church is still to long and those obnoxious signs for "The Shrine of the Lady Of Guadalupe" haven't gone anywhere. Tylor still sings everywhere he goes, and Tammy is still flustered by Pinnell classes. Vinnie is still fat.
Parker might be taller than me, but I can still take him.
Yeah, it's good to be home...
I drive around these streets and I feel like I never left...until I see the new billboard on the corner and the new paint job on Festival. I visit my old house and feel at home...and then the new roommate walks in and it just feels weird.
I go to school and see old friends and everything is familiar...and then the new freshmen walks into brass quintet, and it's like a different place.
Change happens whether you're around or not.
Parker is taller than me now...he's fifteen, and its really surreal. He takes drivers ed in a month. Wade doesn't work at church anymore, and Z is leading worship in Video Cafe. There's a mini choir in the sanctuary...and a forest of fake plants.
Fred is engaged. The cross is gone from the hill by Menards, and there's a new Starbucks on the corner by Best Buy.
They are playing a new morning game on the radio. For the past 13 years, there was "The Brain Game." Then I move and they start playing "You Can't Win".
It's funny how change can take a place that you've known most of your life and turn it into someplace different...well, almost.
At least Jewel's is still there. And Jake still has his same crazy-afro-hair. And at least I still feel at home at the Fischer's and Mary-Kaye still makes great cookies. The stop light at the corner by the church is still to long and those obnoxious signs for "The Shrine of the Lady Of Guadalupe" haven't gone anywhere. Tylor still sings everywhere he goes, and Tammy is still flustered by Pinnell classes. Vinnie is still fat.
Parker might be taller than me, but I can still take him.
Yeah, it's good to be home...
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Friday, November 2, 2007
Thoughts On Music - or - I'm Sorry I'm So Random
Damien Rice is a genius...I think I really mean that. His music is kind of indescribable, at least for me. I can't quite describe how it makes me feel, but it's definitely good.
I just wrote a new piano piece. It is in D Lydian. I think that Lydian mode could be used more in jazz improv...I'll have to work on that, maybe I'll hit it big.
I don't know how it's possible for MuteMath to put on such a mind blowing live show. They are so tight, and Darren is one of the best rock drummers I've seen play live. Plus, I think Paul Meanny has at least two Rhodes, which is sweet...not to mention a key-tar.
Country sucks...
The other day, I divided 6/4 time by 7/8 time and I got pi...my mind was blown!
Whoever had the idea to give Kenny G a record contract should be shot at dawn...either that or be locked in a room with nothing but Kenny G albums.
Speaking of saxophone players, a lot of people think that when John Coltrane started playing out in his later music, he started sucking. I disagree. Sure, he was playing way out there, but he is allowed to do that because he payed his dues playing amazing jazz within the realm of tonality. So, if he wants to play out, thats fine, because at least he knows what he is doing.
4'33" is one of the most innovative pieces ever. John Cage is very, very entertaining.
Does anyone else not understand why Michael Buble is so freakin' popular?
John Mayer is starting to play small clubs around New York. One of his goals is to play one new song at every show. He said that it is weird to be staring down at lyrics that you wrote 5 hours ago while you are on stage...I can imagine.
I want to learn the Bass.
Art is completely subjective...performance is not.
I just wrote a new piano piece. It is in D Lydian. I think that Lydian mode could be used more in jazz improv...I'll have to work on that, maybe I'll hit it big.
I don't know how it's possible for MuteMath to put on such a mind blowing live show. They are so tight, and Darren is one of the best rock drummers I've seen play live. Plus, I think Paul Meanny has at least two Rhodes, which is sweet...not to mention a key-tar.
Country sucks...
The other day, I divided 6/4 time by 7/8 time and I got pi...my mind was blown!
Whoever had the idea to give Kenny G a record contract should be shot at dawn...either that or be locked in a room with nothing but Kenny G albums.
Speaking of saxophone players, a lot of people think that when John Coltrane started playing out in his later music, he started sucking. I disagree. Sure, he was playing way out there, but he is allowed to do that because he payed his dues playing amazing jazz within the realm of tonality. So, if he wants to play out, thats fine, because at least he knows what he is doing.
4'33" is one of the most innovative pieces ever. John Cage is very, very entertaining.
Does anyone else not understand why Michael Buble is so freakin' popular?
John Mayer is starting to play small clubs around New York. One of his goals is to play one new song at every show. He said that it is weird to be staring down at lyrics that you wrote 5 hours ago while you are on stage...I can imagine.
I want to learn the Bass.
Art is completely subjective...performance is not.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Frost
Earlier today, I walked outside to get the mail with bare feet. The grass between the door and the mailbox was covered in frost.
After walking there and back, I decided that walking on frosty grass with bare feet is an experience that no one should miss...trust me.
; )
After walking there and back, I decided that walking on frosty grass with bare feet is an experience that no one should miss...trust me.
; )
A Blank Slate
So, I have a blog. I don't really know what I'm going to do with a blog, but I have one anyway. I guess I just want a place where I can share my life with people who care...
...who knows who will ever read this thing.
The notes function on Facebook is lame...no one pays attention to notes. Everyone is to concerned with their "rate you friend" and "quizzes" applications to notice a note tucked away down at the bottom of your profile. It's not a blog, so I guess I shouldn't treat it like one. Hopefully this will be better...
Nick<><
...who knows who will ever read this thing.
The notes function on Facebook is lame...no one pays attention to notes. Everyone is to concerned with their "rate you friend" and "quizzes" applications to notice a note tucked away down at the bottom of your profile. It's not a blog, so I guess I shouldn't treat it like one. Hopefully this will be better...
Nick<><
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