Holiness

I am overcome by the weight of holiness. I gaze into the character of God and I see nothing but absolute, sheer, blinding perfection. That falls on me heavy. The holiness of God cannot be overstated.

And then I think, "Why would God want to have fellowship with me?" I mean, I claim to be a follower of Christ and a child of God, and yet many times I relate to Him half-heartedly and without passion. He demands perfection, and I treat his commands with less than steel resolve. He commands reverence, and so often I treat Him like Santa Clause or just another guy on the street...just someone to talk to. He commands my undivided worship and devotion, and what do I do? I trade the INFINITE joy that comes with worshiping Him for the things of this world. I worship money, pleasure, friends, popularity when all of my needs and even wants could be so easily met by a God who desires my joy.

I trade the truth of God for a lie.

Seriously, I am so far from holy, I don't even want to think about it. I deserve the fate of Nadab and Abihu, who were immediately struck dead for treating the commands of God half-heartedly and flippently. I deserve the death of Aninias and Saphira for so often coming to God and people with a deceptive heart (as if I could ever deceive God!). And most of all, I deserve to take the place of Christ on the cross for every sin that I have ever committed.

But here's the crazy part...I AM STILL ALIVE!!! I commit all of these grievous acts against the character of God, and still he gives me this beautiful, undeserved, unspeakable grace...why? I mean, I try to follow him, and walk on the narrow way through the narrow gate. I desire to walk in his ways...and yet sometimes I stray. But God is always there to pick me up and put me back on the path. Why does he do that...he doesn't have to! You know What? I have NO IDEA!!!! And yet he sustains me with this grace. And what's more, he desires for me to become his child and friend. WHAT?!?! You guys, this absolutely blows my mind! I have no idea why he gives me this grace, but he does. This completely, utterly, perfect God!

And then I look at the world and I think about how backwards we think. You see no one lives up the the perfection of God. No one is holy, and therefore any good thing, including life itself, that happens to us is undeserved grace. And yet most people, even some Christians, walk around and live their lives as if they deserve what they have. And then someone dies, or they get really sick, or a tsunami happens and people look toward God, shake their fists, and yell, "WHERE WERE YOU?!?! YOU SHOULD HAVE...!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU...?!?!"

How utterly arrogant we are...

It's so backwards! We EXPECT Gods grace and recoil at His justice. It should be the other way around. We should fall flat on our faces before God in worship, and cry out to Him, "THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I should be dead, but I am not! I don't deserve You, and yet here You are! Thank You!"

Lord Jesus, I cannot begin to repay You for Your grace, for then it would not be grace at all. Instead, I humbly bow and continue to be blown away by your love. Why you love me, I will never know. But I do know this...that until I die, by faith, I will continue to strive to be more and more like you...to be more and more holy.

Always Yours,

Nick<><